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In Toni Morrison's Beloved, the characters struggle with accepting the horror of their pasts in the world of slavery and moving on with their lives. Despite their theoretical emancipation, Paul D and Sethe are still enslaved, not only by continuing societal prejudices, but also their own need for self-preservation. A major part of that self-preservation is maintaining their hard-sought emancipation, not just from slavery, but from any type of bondage. Paul D upsets that precarious sense of freedom in his need for Sethe's too-thick love; consequently, he wrestles with the knowledge that allowing himself to love her would mean risking what is left of his strength and risking his license to roam. Paul D searches throughout Morrison's novel to preserve his freedom and his red heart stored in a rusty tobacco tin, but he nevertheless reaches simultaneously for Sethe's love, and the conflict between the twolove and self-protectionleaves Paul D in a quandary until finally he discovers that love is the ultimate freedom.
Paul D's need for freedom is easily understandable, particularly as a former slave, and yet his search for true freedom is not as simple as escaping the bonds of slavery. Fighting between protecting his tobacco tin buried in his chest where a red heart used to be and allowing himself to stay with and love Sethe, Paul D finds that both his wishes leave something to be desired. Paul D knows that entering into a relationship might push them both to a place they couldn't get back from and would let loose all the scary contents of the tobacco tin inside his chest. For Paul D, Sethe's scariest characteristic is her too-thick love. It threatens his very theory of existence, which is to love just a little; Sethe's love, particularly for her children, is very risky
For a used-to-be-slave woman to love anything that much [is] dangerous, especially if it [is] her children she had settled on to love. The best thing, he [knows], [is] to love just a little bit; everything, just a little bit, so when they broke its back, or [shove] it in a croaker sack, well, maybe you'd have a little love left over for the next one.
Paul D is a victim of too much knowledge. Slavery gave every person who endured it a powerful sense of life's uncontrollable mutability. While Sethe responds to her knowledge of the transience of everything in this world except for hardship with a fierce love, Paul D cannot let himself risk what he feels is inevitable heartbreak. He has learned to shut down a generous portion of his head, operating on the part that helped him walk, eat, sleep, sing, because it is the only way he can forget the pain of the past and avoid the pain of the future. Even before he discovers the lengths to which Sethe has gone in the name of love, Paul D fears being caught in her love, as if it were another form of slavery. For Paul D, the bonds of love, though certainly not the painful iron ones of slavery, are nevertheless bondage. While Paul D feels pulled towards Sethe from the very beginning, he knows it is a bold move to follow that pull. Paul D follows it, but he does his best to withhold the contents of his rusty tobacco tin and preserve his freedom and his heart.
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Despite his desire for self-preservation, Paul D finds Sethe and her companionship alluring. Paul D, without realizing he is opening his heart to love Sethe, pursues a relationship; he looks for a home. In Sethe, he knows he has found one, and Paul D treasures it enough to kick out a ghost and weather the difficulties involved in cultivating his own presence as a member of the family. Amid his assertions that he is keeping Sethe from his missing heart, Paul D tries to make a life with her; he knows that it wasn't the place [he] was heading toward; it was [Sethe]. Paul D believes that and he leaves Sethe so he can escape being hurt before he allows himself to love herhe thinks he cannot handle the power of her love. Before he leaves, Paul D is not happyhe is fighting with Beloved for Sethe's love and attention and losingbut Sethe's love is not the cause of his unhappiness. In fact, every aspect of Paul D's unhappiness while living with Sethe relates to his inability to love her completely, due to her daughters' possessiveness of her and to his doubts and fears. Beloved's repeated relocation of Paul D means he cannot sleep comfortably in Sethe's house, and both Denver's and Beloved's overt contempt for Paul D creates tension in the house; nevertheless, Paul D wants so much to be with Sethe that he want[s] her pregnant as a way to hold on to her, document his manhood and break out of the girl's spellall in one. Paul D unconsciously craves the love Sethe offers, and what he cannot escape are his self-erected impediments. After Paul D leaves her house, he is distraughthe discovers that his heart was already open and in love with Sethe. During Paul D's self-seclusion, he still longs for Sethe, knowing that he failed in the attempt to think only about the next meal and night's sleep. Paul D loves Sethe, despite his distrust of the emotion, from beginning to end.
The conflict inside Paul D's head over whether to stay or to go is barely a question of action until he discovers just how thick Sethe's love is. Paul D remains in her house, despite Beloved's loudly malicious presence, despite Denver's disapproval, despite his own fears about the risks involved, because he thinks that his heart is no longer there and that he can protect himself from falling too hard into love. The discovery of the extent of Sethe's love, however, is too much for Paul D; when he learns that she killed her child and tried to kill the others to protect her children from slavery, Paul D knows that, as Stamp Paid says, Sethe ain't crazy. She love those children. She was trying to out-hurt the hurter. For Paul D, that is the very problem. Once he learns just how vehement her love is, Paul D can no longer handle the risk, and yet his flight is too late.
Alone, Paul D realizes that his tobacco tin, blown open, [has] spilled contents that [float] freely and [make] him their play and prey. This allusion to Paul D's heart as a Pandora's box illuminates just how perilous he feels the opening of his tin is; the strength of Sethe's love breaks through the rust of the tobacco tin, and she lets out what Paul D sees as evilhis love. However, it is his escape from love that causes Paul D much grief. Paul D leaves because he fears being bound by the powerful love in 14, and yet, in truth, his restlessness and fear are what bind himthey enslave him to a permanent state of impermanence. Paul D's time alone teaches him that his urge to escape anything permanent is a reaction to his pastas he tells Sethe, [they] got more yesterday than anybody. [They] need some kind of tomorrow. This optimism in the possibility of a future together, and his final actiontaking hold of her handshow Paul D's maturation and acceptance of love's potential. In the end, Paul D finally learns that it's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind, and that Sethe is that woman.
Paul D learns that love is the ultimate freedom; through love, Paul D can finally rest, can finally find the feeling of communion he lost when he lost his brothers and friends to death caused by slavery, can finally find a home. It takes Paul D days of drunken pondering and soul-searching to learn that needing Sethe is no more binding than is forcing himself to be free from her. In fact, it is Paul D's insistence upon maintaining only a little love for anything that causes him heartache and leaves him bound to his need for freedom. When Paul D finally comes to terms with his fears and returns with love to Sethe, it is their mutual need for one another that gives them hope and strength. In allowing himself to love Sethe, Paul D releases himself from his self-repression and becomes free to accept the past and look for a future.
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