October 14, 2020

Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant

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Introduction.


In this book by Anne Tyler, Pearl appears in many parts as a typical older person


anxious, denying the loss of faculties, re-examining the past, assessing her children, and


so on. To determine what degree these factors were always part of Pearls make-up and Write my Essay on Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant for me


evident in earlier periods of her life, in her youth or single-motherhood stages, this paper


will provide a review and discussion of Anne Tylers book, Dinner at the Homesick


Restaurant, followed by a summary of the research in the conclusion.


Review and Discussion.


The debate over nature versus nurture has been in existence for many years, with the


nature crowd arguing that people are born ready-made and the nurture crowd


suggesting that people learn to become what they are. This debate is particularly


appropriate in determining whether Pearl Tull had always been born the way she was,


fully possessed of the qualities and traits that would later define her life. This analysis is


assisted since the story is presented from a retrospective point of view from the outset,


supplemented by insightful reflections and poignant vignettes from Pearls past to


reinforce her regrets.


From one perspective, it would seem that Pearl was, in fact, just like everyone else in


many regards, particularly as she grew older; she was reluctant to accept the physical


losses that came with the aging process, she had an continuous tendency to reexamine


and second-guess the events that had shaped her life the way it is today, but always


pessimistically. As the end of her life is at a near, Pearl also tended to rationalize away


even the most irrational types of her own behavior if it was supported by even a shred of


reasonableness or generally just happened to serve her purposes. For example, early on in


the story, Pearl makes the untenable connection between meeting Beck Tull at the


Charity Baptist Church and her need to change religious affiliations just so her reward


would not be snatched away (Chapter 1). Faith in this regard was merely an ends to a


regrettable means, and Pearls faith continued to be rocked again and again as her


husband abandons her and the familys three children. An old saying advises that When


everyone is against you, paranoia is just a good idea; another suggests that if Enough


people call you a horse, youd better buy a saddle. To this end, Pearl had some good


reasons to be paranoid and believe that her children were, in fact, dirty rotten human


beings that deserved what they got in life. Absent any further personal development from


these characters, they would undoubtedly continue to engage in these petty and


self-destructive types of behaviors. Here, people are just people and will tend to try to get


away with whatever they can until they realize there is more to life than what you can


steal from your brother or wangle from your business associates.


From another point of view, it would seem that Pearl was much like anyone else, and


managed to attribute all of the character flaws and failures of her children to their own


personal flaws and shortcomings Pearl believes now that her family has failed. Neither


of her sons is happy and her daughter cant seem to stay married. There is no one to


accept the blame for this but Pearl herself . . . Still sometimes she has the feeling that its


simply fate, and not a matter for blame at all


Abraham Maslow, a psychologist that I learned in great detail from my psychology


course would probably say that Pearl was stuck in a self-defeating, pre-self-actualized


phase that prevented her from recognizing that she was not personally responsible for


every-damn-thing that went wrong in the world, but this is what happens to some people


when they believe the universe revolves around them. For these people, self-deprecation


and lamentations are not the same sort of soul-searching that mature people engage in;


rather, these are the sources of some type of sick pleasure, much like that achieved by


constantly tonguing a sore tooth. They know its going to hurt, but some people find the


pain delicious.


Pearl thinks that, Something was wrong with all of her children. They were so frustrating


-- attractive, likable people, the three of them, but closed off from her in some perverse


way that she couldnt quite put her finger on. ... She wondered if her children blamed her


for something. Sitting close at family gatherings ... they tended to recall only poverty and


loneliness -- toys she couldnt afford for them, parties where they werent invited. The


author ensures that the reader realizes there are two sides to the story all along, though,


and Pearls children, by contrast, constantly referred to Pearls short temper, . . .


displaying it against a background of stunned, childish faces so sad and bewildered that


Pearl herself hardly recognized them. Honestly, she thought, wasnt there some statute of


limitations here? When were they going to absolve her?


From any childs perspective, there is no statute of limitation (witness the number of


Freudian-based psychotherapists in business today); however, for an individual such as


Pearl who is stuck in a poor pitiful me rut, the statute only runs if it is convenient. For


example, Pearls doubts about her children remain a recurring theme throughout the book.


Ezra Tull, the oldest child, is on the way up and on the way down at the same time;


Jenny, the second child, manages to achieve professional success at the cost of personal


happiness. A popular term today for the Tull family would be dysfunctional (the sibling


rivalry between the brothers in particular), but Pearl certainly had never intended to


foster one of these good son/bad son arrangements.


Conclusion.


Everyone, it seems, has at least some serious doubts about the decisions they have made


in life and the directions they have taken to the exclusion of others. Many people in fact


spend much of their lives reexamining these paths not taken rather than trying to make


the most of the ones they did tread, and Pearl is not exception. Further, it only seems


natural to evaluate the lives of ones children in light of what they have done in life and


who they have become to determine if there were oversights or mistakes made. However,


the past cannot be changed and the future is a nebulous uncertainty. In the final analysis,


all anyone has for certain at the end of life are their memories and faith.


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