August 28, 2019

The real fortune cookie

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The Real Fortune Cookie


One of the most important decisions a man ever makes is to ask his girl to marry him.Believe it or not most of us, at least it is true for me, put a lot of thought into this life altering commitment, even if we get the delivery all messed up.I planned my proposal out as best as I possibly could, but according to my wife I still missed a couple of the fine details.


I wanted the event to be just that, an event my wife would always remember and want to tell people about.I just couldn't "pop the question" at McDonalds.I needed to pick just the right, time and setting.I decided to pick her birthday.This was not done to be cheap; rather I hoped it would be the one birthday she would always remember.Then came my first setback, I was told I had to deploy to Florida and would be gone on her birthday.I would have to pick a different day.Then as fate would have it, I was dropped from the deployment two days before I was to leave and would be able to go forward with my plans.


I also wanted to do something special and unique.I was making fortune cookies when it came to me.I would make two fortune cookies, the first with the proposal in it and the second with the ring in it.This would achieve all of my goals of being romantic, different and memorable.I carefully baked a sheet of fortune cookies, removed them from the oven at just the right time, and then quickly placed the fortunes inside the cookies and folded and bent them into their traditional shape before they cooled and hardened.Perfect, this was going to be the best proposal ever.


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On the afternoon of her birthday I called her from my apartment, although she thought I was calling from Florida.She had gone from Memphis to Little Rock to stay with her sister while I was deployed.She asked if I minded if she went out with her friends to celebrate her birthday.I asked her not to and to stay at home as a surprise was sure to find her there.She put up an argument and I was fearful that she would not be there when I arrived in a couple hours.When I arrived at her sisters' house I heard her niece announce my arrival.She answered the door surprised to see me.I told her to get dressed to go out to dinner but would not tell her were.She repeatedly inquired as to where we were going.I ensured her I had planned a full evening for her.She took what seemed like eons to get ready as I waited impatiently, hoping everything would be as wonderful as I had planned it to be.Finally she appeared from the back of the house ready to go.My mind was buzzing and I literally tingled with anticipation.


I took her to a Thai restaurant in Little Rock, and we had a quiet dinner.I wished her a happy birthday and told her how I had managed to get out of the deployment at the last minute and then decided to surprise her for her birthday.Little did she know, I had a much bigger surprise in store.As we were nearing the end of dinner I excused myself to go to the bathroom.I slipped out to my car and retrieved the fortune cookies I had hidden under the drivers seat.I found our waitress and gave her the cookies and asked that she bring them with our bill in a couple of minutes.I then returned to our table like nothing had happened.The next few minutes seemed to take an eternity to pass.Disastrous thoughts of the cookies getting lost or thrown away raced through my head.Finally the waitress appeared with the bill and cookies, my cookies.My girlfriend looked at the cookies suspiciously, commenting on their large size and the fact that they were slightly darker in color than the commercially prepared ones you usually get.I told her to open the slightly smaller one first and then the larger of the two.She insistently inquired as to why it made a difference which one she opened up first.Finally giving in, she opened the smaller of the two cookies.She pulled out the fortune and read it to herself.It read, "Lynn I love you, will you marry me?"She looked up and said, "Ya, right."Oh my god, she doesn't think I was serious.I told her I meant it, but she still did not believe me.All of my careful planning was quickly falling apart.How could I have foreseen this?I asked her to open the second cookie.She picked it up, still not believing I was sincere and genuine in my proposal.She cracked the cookie towards one end, failing to reveal the ring that had been so carefully placed inside.She looked at me and showed me that there was no fortune to be found.I pleaded for her to break the cookie in the middle.She did, and when the ring came into view she dropped the cookie, ring and all, into her sweet and sour sauce.She looked at me silently for a few long seconds, and then she got up and fled to the bathroom simply stating that she would be right back.As she disappeared into the ladies room, I suddenly came to the realization that she had not responded in any recognizable way to my proposal.Oh my god, could she be in the ladies room contemplating how she was going to tell me no.I had not even considered that she may not accept my proposal until that moment.She stayed in the ladies room for at least 15 minutes, and let me tell you it was the longest ¼ hour of my life.When she finally came out she sat down and simply stated, "You make me so happy."Not yet sure if she was accepting my proposal, I said, "You didn't say yes yet."She looked at me and said, "YES" and then came around to me and held me tight to her.What a relief.


All of my careful planning and preparation did not include the possibility that she might not accept my proposition.I don't know what I would have done had she said no.She later informed me I had missed on major detail in all of my planning.I had forgotten to get on my knees.


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